Years ago, as a teenager and a young adult, the recurring message I recall was to set good patterns and choose good people.
Patterns of prayer, Scripture, journaling. People who would become true friends, or examples, or occasional voices of wisdom or encouragement.
It takes years to form these patterns. Sometimes I felt inspired - sometimes not. Years to form these relationships. Sometimes I felt connected - sometimes not.
Somewhere along the way, I read that eventually it becomes less difficult. Until then: Persevere. Try again. Find what works for you.
And so today I wake before the alarm goes off, and I breathe an ancient prayer before getting out of bed.
“Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.”
I make coffee, pull the dog onto my lap, and use my centring prayer app to sit quietly, meditatively. When distraction comes, I return with a whisper.
“Shape me.”
I thank God for the safe people near me these days whom I trust. People who know me. Who text from time to time, “Checking in … how is today … praying for you.” Who I know will pick up if I call. Who offer to take on a task, despite their own busy lives.
“I thank God every time I remember you.”
Patterns. People.
Keeping me on track on hard days. Keeping me on track on good days too, when I might think - foolishly - that I’m invincible.
“God - Thank You for that recurring message so long ago. Thank You for the patterns and people that continue to form me. Thank You for being present to me in them. And for keeping me present to You through them. Amen.”